Things I don't understand...

I don't understand how men can leave their children. Emotionally, financially, at all. How do they do that?

I don't understand how a woman could love and support a man that refuses to support his own children. I don't get it. I also don't understand how a man can go on to raise "some" of his children. What is he teaching his children? That you can pick and choose the offspring you love? What kind of men in turn do they raise?

This post is not about my children. I was blessed with a wonderful father for my children, a man that would do anything for them, for us. If my husband had any other children besides our children, I would make damn sure he was a part of their lives in every way. It wouldn't be an issue though, I know what kind of a man he is. I would be ashamed to be married to a man that wasn't a part of his children's lives.

I was not so blessed, I am over it. I thank God that my father didn't have any sons.

But, it breaks my heart to see other kids experience it.

I know women do it too, leave I mean. But, not nearly as often as men.

Merry Christmas from Sunny AZ!!

I said I wasn't going home. I lied. We are in Sunny AZ for Christmas! And, I LOVE it. Christmas should be tolerable, and you should not be freezing your ass off.

I can't wait until we leave Colorado.

Cause I needed the laugh....

Can't sleep & cause I know you are dying to KNOW!

Christmas Cheer and all that good mushy love stuff.......

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Total bag girl, I was not blessed with the good wrapping skills. I have NONE. Even when I try really hard, it looks like my kid wrapped it.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial..It's just so much easier, not as heavy. PLUS...I have no man around this year to help with a big ol' tree.

3. When do you put up the tree? Whenever I feel in the spirit, usually when they start playing Christmas movies on TV.

4. When do you take the tree down? New Years or After.


5. Do you like egg nog? BLEH! No. Hells no.


6. Favorite gift received as a child? A doll, I only remember because I have a picture of it. I do remember loving that doll though.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, but sadly it isn't up yet...I am not sure why?

8. Hardest person to buy for? My in-laws.

9. Easiest person to buy for? David, he is always grateful.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Probably some canned tuna from Jenny the Cat. Yes, my sister's cat gives out gifts.

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Mail, and I am so bad about getting them out.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It's A Wonderful Life and Scrooged. I love both of those!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I am always shopping, I love a good deal! But, I did do Black Friday this year! It was awesome!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Ummmmm YES!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Ham!! or Tamales...I love me some Tamales.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear white lights, I am not crazy about the color.

17. Favorite Christmas song? I know I blogged about this: Joy to the World.


18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Depends. The last three years have been at home.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? NO. Santa has other reindeer besides Rudolph?


20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Nothing at the moment. I suck this year. Deployments really put a damper on the Christmas Spirit.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We do both. One on Christmas eve, the rest in the morning. Growing up....we did them all on Christmas Eve.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Iraq and deployments.


23. What I love most about Christmas? All the pretty lights....

Wake me up this time next year.....

I wish that was how I felt...Today was total crap, how much could possibly go wrong? I hate these kind of days.

1. BOTH girls missed the bus, had to take them to school.

2. Devon decides to BARF during dinner and later in the evening too, I guess that was a bonus, and now I think he has a bug of some sort. Ughhh.

3. I felt like a haggard ass hooker....ALL day long.

4. David finally webcammed and we couldn't hear him. He is still in Kuwait dammit! The connection should be decent. He looked tired and sad. Devon kept saying "Daddy in Imack" it was sad, he misses him so much. He totally lit up when he saw him.

5. Went grocery shopping and had to pry every single non-perishable out of Carson's nasty little paws....apparently he wanted to eat everything (in the store).

6. It's 11:30 and both of my Children of the Corn are still awake, like crackhead awake.

7. Today is just one of those days I hope we survive. I know we will, but I'm kinda drama like that. So humor me, K?

Tomorrow starts day number 14 of 455, whiphee fucking hoo.

Newport Wench

This summer we vacationed in Arizona and California. In California we went to San Diego and Irvine. I have family in both locations. We had a blast, and I can't wait to go back. However, I came across a woman that I just wanted to cut, yes like gangster cut. I wanted to shank the bitch. Really. So, here goes my story....

We were getting gas and a suburbanite from Newport was gassing up next to us, in her cute little SUV Lexus, with her perfect hair and perfect clothes. So, someone next to her pulls up with plates from Alaska and she says to the lady "Wow, you are far from home!" the woman tells her, "Oh, we live here, we are from Alaska" the suburbanite says "The cops don't get you for having Alaska plates?" the very patient lady replies back "My husband is in the military, we don't have to get them changed, we are stationed here". And, you know what the Newport suburbanite wench says? "Ahh, special treatment for the military? That's not fair!" I thought to myself, oh my goodness that woman is gonna get her ass beat, seriously. I was scared for her for like a split second. The military wife just looked at her as if she knew already knew how clueless this woman was, and left.

I was waiting for the wench to go on about the all expense vacations the military gives to their soldiers too. You know those 15 months they get to spend in shit hole Iraq, cause they get special treatment and all.

Some kids suck.....

My baby girl Mariah, she's autistic, high functioning, but autistic. She has her quirks, she is a teeny odd, but we all are. She just started the third grade and the girls in her class are awful, I hate it. I don't know what to do. They are the meanest bunch of little girls I have ever met, not accepting at all. I'm not sure what I am trying to say, I just needed to write it out.

I wish kids were nicer.

Weather Issues

Dear Big Man aka God:

Please let this be a nice winter. Please. I can't bear to stay in my home all winter because of stupid blizzards. Seriously, Please? I will go absolutely nuts if I am stuck in a house all day with my kids. Thanks.

It's a sappy one....

Anyone who knows me pretty well, knows that my sister rocks. She ALWAYS thinks about the kids, she always thinks about us. Carson got this in the mail from her today. I almost cried.

My sister was a second grade teacher for three years, got her masters, decided she wanted to be a Librarian, so she went back to school. The scholarship she was awarded is at a school two hours from her home. So, she has a mortgage and utilities, along with a whole other apartment she is taking care of elsewhere. She is so strapped right now, and she still sent the Lover Carson some cash for his birthday. Not to mention she is so super busy right now. She remembered him. I love her. Things like this are what reminds me not to sweat the small stuff.

So, things are pretty good over here. Nothing can get me down, I wont let it. I only have little bit of time left with my hubby and I wont let anything mess up that time. I will have a whole fifteen months to be miserable.

They are both two for the next three weeks!

Numero Dos, TWO! He's two!

He's so darn big!

I don't need no stinking spoon.....

Yes you do, you need one, you little caveman. Why does he refuse to use a spoon? Seriously kid, it's not that hard. He wont even TRY! He just sticks his fat little hand into everything. And then he thinks he's gonna touch me? Or my stuff? Uh-uh I don't think so dude. Use a spoon and you wont have to get hosed off every time you eat!!! I mean it was a Sundae in this one, and still he didn't use it. Sometimes we get super lucky and he throws the fucking spoon at us. I love my kids.

I'm not ready yet....

It's getting closer, it feels like my world is closing in on me. When I think about it I feel like I can't breathe. I'm not ready for him to leave again. I'm not ready to sleep alone, to put the kids to bed alone, to eat dinner alone, I'm not ready to live alone. I'm just not.

The last time he left I was three months post-par tum, I had a three month old, a 13 month old, a 6 year old, and a 9 year old. We dropped him off, we said our goodbyes, we cried like we had never cried before. You don't realize how much you love someone until you send them off to a war zone. A month later I packed our stuff up and moved home with my sister, we still kept our place here, but I moved us temporarily for eight months of the deployment. It helped to go home, but nobody understood, it was surreal to them. I plan on staying this time, we'll see how I feel a month after he leaves again. I want to be tough and strong, but I'm just not that tough.

I look back on when he was deployed, and how I worried everyday. I waited for the phone to ring, I waited for my messenger to nudge, I waited for emails, and ultimately I waited for him. We waited for him. This fucking sucks, there isn't a nice way to put it. That's how I feel right now.

OK, my bitch session is over. Sorry for such a glum post. It keeps me from taking it out on him, and that's the last thing I want to do. I know it isn't his fault. I know he doesn't want to leave us. But, I still get angry. We should all be angry.

Taco Salads..yummy

We made taco salads for lunch this weekend, minus the tomatoes...yuck! I made the shells! And homemade salsa! Now, I have to get the chips down ;) Anyone know how to make the chips? I hate store bought ones.

Fool me once....

George

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Completely sober. Geez.

Time needs to move faster.....

Playing In The Sprinkler

He is sooo NOT coming in the house until he dries!

Too Soon.

Vacation is over and we are going home. I am going to miss Arizona...even if it feels like I am melting every time I go outside, I will miss it. I will miss my sister even more though. Boo on goodbyes, I hate them.

On another note I am so proud of the boys, they were so good and patient while on vacation, they adjusted to all of the changes like troopers. Ashley and Mariah are excited about school, it's a new year. We are all excited.

We partied it up on vacation and spent way more than we should have, but we went out with a bang. David is deploying much sooner than expected, so it was worth it. Who knows when we can go on a vacation again as a family?

Camping is cool.....NOT. (Like Borat)

I really like this picture, I think I am going to have it framed and put it in Devon's room. Because he is that jerk. Really. My son needs to learn to play nice. Fucking boys. Ughhhh.

Camping is so not cool when your uninvited Aunt comes to visit. I hate that bitch. I hate her. I don't even need her anymore, I am having no more babies. Ughhh. I demanded our campgound have bathrooms and showers and it will fly...so we shall see how it goes.

On another note Kimbo advised me that if I had my uterus removed that would be some weight loss. Isn't it sad that I would rather have body parts removed than put the Krispy Kreme down? Bleh.

I need my kids to go back to school. Now. And, I was going to be a teacher? NOT.

Poop...I mean I feel like poop.

I can't sleep. It has been weeks people. I have not had a good nights worth of shut eye, so if I am commenting your blog at 3am, please shoot me an email and tell me to go the fuck to sleep. Puhlease? Thanks =)

I think I should start taking some Tylenol PM or something. I just can't hang anymore.

So, the man comes home on Friday, I can't wait. He called me a bit ago and they have totally and completely have run out of things to do, he is just now waiting to get on his flight Thursday night. At the rate things are going over there, realistically he probably wont be here until Saturday. Boo.

I have decided I can't live without a Dyson, I HAVE to have one, I NEED it. I'm gonna try to talk the man into one...maybe I will advance my birthday and Christmas?

P.S. I tried Chocolate M&M Cookie Sandwiches today, AWESOME.

Blog Tagged

Suavecito Blog Tagged me!


One Word Answers:


Yourself: Amazing
Your Partner: Hottie
Your Hair: BLAH
Your Mother: Looney
Your Father: Absent
Your Favorite Item: Laptop
Your Dream Last Night: Unknown
Your Favorite Drink: Coke
Your Dream Car: Lexus SUV
Your Dream Home: City
The Room You Are In: Bedroom
Your Fear: Loss
You Want To Be In 10 Years: AZ
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: Kids :)
Your Not: Sad
One Of Your Wishlist Items: Dyson
The Last Thing You Did: Talked
You Are Wearing: PJ's
Your Favorite Weather: Fall
Your Favorite Book: MANY!
Last Thing You Ate: Sandwich
Your life: Awesome
Your Mood: Ecstatic
Your Best Friend: Loverboy ;)
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Wednesday!
Your Car: Silver
What Are You Doing At The Moment: Typing
Relationship Status: Married
What Is On Your TV: Movie
What Is The Weather Like: Cold
When Is The Last Time You Laughed: morning

Okay Now I get to Tag 2 people:
Sarcastic Momma, Jenn

Her smile was back, and it made my day

In my neighborhood families are always incomplete, and you can always tell. Either you recognize it by the gloomy kids, the somber mom, and the vehicle that hasn't moved in months. It's the norm here, dads are always gone. Yesterday I saw my neighbor happy and smiling for the first time in months. Her husband was home, he is deployed to Iraq right now, and lucky him he's on the extended plan. He gets to stay fifteen months. He is home on R&R and enjoying time with his family. She was smiling, I was so happy for her, I wanted to just hug her. But, we don't roll like that so I smiled back and told her to enjoy her husband.

I can't wait until we pull out of that shit hole country.

I let my guard down...

Again. I let nuts into the house. He ate them. He began to swell, he went into shock and I freaked the fuck out, called 911 and we spent the night in the ER. I can't believe I slipped and he had to go through that. Poor kid. I was afraid to use his epipen, I need to be more confident when it comes to those things. I hate allergies, I hate peanut allergies. He is fine now, sleeping, he seems to have already forgotten about his near death experience.

From now on I am the fucking peanut nazi...that shit isn't coming near my kid. This was the worst reaction by far. So, if I get on your nerves with my kid's peanut issues, tough shit. **Sigh** It was a rough night in the ER, I felt so sorry for my little guy. I hope we don't ever have to go through that again, that is wishful thinking on my part....he is only 2.

Everyone was so great though...the paramedics, the ER staff, the nurses, and the doc was awesome. Absolutely wonderful. I am sorry I doubted the staff at the hospital, they were great with Devon and saved his life tonight.

I am so tired of peanuts. Tree nuts. All nuts. I worry about when he goes to school, about other children giving him peanuts. The worries never stop. Maybe I will homeschool him? Ughhh....this is making me ill. I need to go to bed. I am just glad he is ok.

Seriously.....

I hate the baggers at the commissary, they are the absolute WORST. They are mean, old, grumpy, and make me want to stop going to the commissary. But, I wont. Why? Cause I'm cheap, and they have good deals. Assholes. I will write more on this later, but somehow Carson mangaed to get out of the duct tape....dammit.


*For you cilvilan folk, the commissary is a grocery store on post that saves us alot of money, only military folk can go there and shop.

Tommy, Tommy...what happened?

This first clip made me fall totally and MADLY in love with this man. I mean seriously...how could you not love those moves? Ay papi...Me enamore.




Now this one...speaks for itself. Top Gun Volleyball Scene...better than PORN.



I try to remember my favorite celebrity crush like this. I don't know who that crazy fucker that knocked up Joey from Dawson's Creek is.

Guess who died? Ahh shit.. I forgot the Pepsi was on sale at Safeway

My mother has ADD, ADHD whatever you wanna call it, undiagnosed of course. I am diagnosing her ass. That is what conversations are like with her. I call her this morning to see if she and my sister want me to book their flights as they are going to come visit us in July. I call her at work and this is how she rolls....

ADD Mom: MC Adult Probation, how may I help you?

Most Wonderful Daughter (EVER): Mom, it's me..have you talked to (sister) about the dates?

ADD Mom: No, she never calls me back....OMG! Guess who died?

MWD: Who?

ADD Mom: *Bonnie! Can you believe she died? (*Bonnie is not the real name)

MWD: OMG! She did? I am so sorry...I can't believe she died.

ADD Mom: Ahhhh shit...I forgot the Pepsi was on sale at Safeway

MWD: Mom, Mom, hey...who's Bonnie?

ADD Mom: You know, HIS mom.

MWD: Oh. (I remember)

ADD Mom: Yeah, well I gotta go...I can't believe I forgot the PEPSI.

MWD: Ok, mom talk to you later.

ADD Mom: Hey, is it cold over there right now?

MWD: Bye mom.

Having conversations with my mother are just pointless sometimes. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she was on crack. Seriously, most people that meet her assume she is on something or bipolar.

About Bonnie, I am sorry she died, I didn't know her well. I talked to her a few years back. I saw her at a local restaurant in town, she approached me. She said she recognized me, I asked how her son was, she replied that he was "hanging in there" she then apologized to me for the way her son treated me, it was weird and awkward. I told her we were young, it was in the past. If I hadn't made mistakes I had with him, I wouldn't have what I have now. He was my unanswered prayer.

Anyhow..maybe her son will grow the fuck up now that she is gone.

Damn that rap music...

Look what it made me do....Don't blame me, it's the music!



I am twenty-eight, a mother of four, a wife, and I LOVE rap music. I love Eminem, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Little John, Fabulous, Ludicrous...yes I am a self-proclaimed thug loving music fool. Bite me, I don't care. My list of rap artists could go on and on but most of you probably have no idea who I am talking about. Should I be ashamed? On my way home the other day I was blaring "Lose Yourself" by Eminem and I turned it down because I didn't want my neighbors to hear it. WTF is wrong with me? Fuck that. I like rap, I can handle a few bad words, but I don't listen to the hard core stuff. But, why do I care?

I was at a gathering a few days ago and everyone was giddy about the Martina McBride concert, (the thought of going to that concert makes me want to puncture my eardrums with a sharp object) I wanted to shout "I want to see Eminem, fuck Martina". But, alas I didn't. So, I sat there and pretended to like Martina.

I mean I am not ashamed that I love me some Air Supply, but will not own up to my rap obsession. Eh, I don't care...anyone has a problem? They can suck it. ;) No more turning my radio down.

I finally bought a runner for the entry way, now maybe I wont break out into a nervous twitch every time the kids come in from playing outside.

I'm a Coke-Aholic

When I finally decide to turn in for the night I can never figure out why I can't sleep. Yes, I am that dense. I never realized that having a Coke before I go to bed can in fact keep me up. I toss, turn, browse the blogs, watch TV, anything that comes to mind until I get so tired that I finally doze off. I gotta stop with my Coke obsession, at least before bed. It's killing me. I wake up dragging ass and feeling like shit all day.

The weather was PERFECT today and we played outside all morning, it was great. My sod isn't looking good, I don't know what I am doing wrong? Ughhh...David will be so sad if he gets back and all the sod still looks like shit. All that hard work and money, F**K...it better not DIE!

We are gonna start doing some scrap booking and walking this week, gonna keep ourselves busy. I mean I have a ton of must do things I should be doing. BUT, playing with the kids and doing FUN stuff sounds so much better.

FYI: Before calling the repairman about a "gas smell" make sure your 20 month old toddler hasn't turned on the burner on the stove just enough not to hear the "clicky sound" but enough to leak gas to be smelled and cause you to freak out. Repair guy was nice though, didn't make me feel like an ass ;)

Also...things aren't always what they seem. I finally talked to my neighbor. She's not a crazy bitch, but her kid is.

Paint....What was I thinking?

He's an artist at heart.



He's got skills.



Canvas for Playroom....I'd never thought I'd actually put up their art. (Yes, I am that mom) ;)



Wow..He's like Picasso n' shit.



You can't hold an artist down....it's called expression.

I really like this one.

Good Times

This video always makes me smile ;)

Wow....Insight.

Your 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win' Score: 79%

You are a terrorist-loving scoundrel who hates our dear leader and the values he defends. There are few redeeming qualities about you. You most likely celebrated when the evil-doers hit us on 9/11, then opposed the Iraq war when we tried to pay them back. You hurt us at every step and cause troops to die in the field by questioning Bush's decisions. You are most likely a lost cause, doomed to be a brainwashed victim of free thought and liberalism forever. No dose of Ann Coulter's prose can save you now.

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I'm glad you took this quiz. If it came out that you are an America-hating scumbag, the authorities are probably already on to you. Hopefully you are actually a pro-war Republican patriot, and if so, please cast a vote in November in support of George W. Bush. The liberal forces are plotting against him and we'll need you to help ensure his winning policies remain unchanged for years to come!

Missing Home

I am having an emo night and want to jump in my car and drive home. This time of year is fun in Arizona. My cousin is graduating from high school, it's summertime and our family will be partying. I will miss it. Last year I was there, but David was deployed so it was bittersweet. I need to remember to call my grandmother more, If I go more than two weeks without giving her a ring, she cries her ass of when I call. So, note to self: Call your grandma jackass.

I called my FIL today to let him know I emailed him some pic of the kids, and of course he forces the subject onto "Old Dubya" he ALWAYS does this. Oh, and did I mention he is ALWAYS right? He goes on to tell me Hillary is going to get the Democratic nomination and that McCain will get the Republican nomination, because as I stated previously he knows everything. Then he says "Hillary can't even keep her marriage under control, how is she gonna run the damn country?" I was gonna flip. I didn't, I was a good DIL. I just said.."yeah uh huh" there is absolutely no sense in arguing with the elderly and senile. What I wanted to say was "Hillary fucking got over it, you need to as well", yeah I didn't think that would go over very well....so I didn't. Boo on me.




He was kinda cute today....I may keep him ;)

Houston, We Have A Biter & Some Hot White Dudes....

Do you have a song you absolutely love? I do. I don't care if you didn't ask, I'm telling you what it is. I have a secret obsession with Air Supply, I love 70's music. Seriously......I feel all nostalgic and crap when I listen to it, I can feel myself in bell bottoms and being all groovy and shit. Then I remember I was born in 1978. My sister makes fun of me because I love these guys so much, once they were playing at a casino in the AZ and I wanted to go see them. I am still pissed that I missed the show. Air Supply rocks.



Onto a more fascinating subject....my biter. He bit me. He put his little angelic head on my shoulder so lovingly, he wanted a hug. He went in for the kill and put his little chompers into my arm. I screamed and yelled. He cried. We made up. He seriously needs to stop with the biting before I sell him.



The little Biter.

Today was Ashley's soccer ceremony, it was nice and low key. Wait, scratch that. Nothing is low key with 12 ten year olds hyped up on pizza, cake and soda. It went well, I am finding out that my kid is well liked, and that makes me happy. Poor kid has so much stuff going on this month and David is missing it all. She had her band recital yesterday, soccer ceremony today and will have her crossover ceremony next week without him too. We will memorex it for him, but it isn't the same. OK, enough boo hoo. Ashley has decided she wants to play soccer from now on, and she wants to play offense. So, I am gonna have her practice with the boys in the neighborhood, maybe they can teach her not be so afraid of the ball. We'll see.

It so needs to stop raining in Colorado, I am tired of it. Make it stop. I hate the way muddy feet make my carpet look.

Wild Card Wednesday

WCW brought to you by TKW, whom always makes me pee my pants when I read her posts.



This is my girl Kimbahly.....she is a wild one. I love her. I love her because only she can make changing a kids ass in a parking lot at the park look so stylish. She is a mom who rocks out. Doesn't she look uber cool? Doesn't she make being a mommy look like so much fun? Did you play?

Also, I am starting to miss him, I really do like him. Ok, enough of a break. Can you come home now?

Poop on Pride

Ashley's team played an all boys Pride team today, I hate Pride. Her team lost so I am allowed to hate Pride today. Nazi soccer parents can suck it. How can that game be considered fair and equal?

We have a band recital tomorrow, yay! I will be filling up on coke and rum beforehand and be fully prepared with my earplugs...oops did I say that out loud? Just kidding, damn. I can't wait to hear my princess play her flute!

I wanna give a shout out to my girl Elainery for keeping my animals this afternoon, taking my two boys to any soccer game is like a train wreck, seriously. Even though she is prego and tired and missing her man oh so much...She still kept my hellions. Thanks girl, I am glad I have you in my life.

Open Letter: It is just tacky, irresponsible and rude to talk about your husband's soldiers on MySpace or any other public forum, especially when using names. I'm just saying.........

Got Queso?

I love queso, lots of it, on everything. I especially love Havarti, that stuff makes my mouth water. I swear I have been to every store in town and all of their Havarti tastes like ass. Not Super Target, their Havarti is heaven, pure bliss. It may add ten pounds to my fat ass, but I love Havarti. Funny from a kid who was brought up on government cheese, my mother would be so disappointed in me, eating fancy shmancy cheese out of the deli counter and everything!

David is at NTC now and I am here with my clan. We have had a few disagreements but we are working through them. Some observations since dad has been gone.

1. Yes kids, poop needs to be picked up EVERYDAY. Got it?

2. Devon it is not cool to poop and pee on the floor, if you must please use the back yard....K?

3. Carson, the word no does not constitute a full out seizure type hissy fit...shut it. Get used to "NO".

4. Your chores still need to be done even if your dad isn't here. Asses.

If any of you know my neighbor and what the fuck is up with the drama over at their place, I must know. I am going nuts. I need to know if I have any crazy fuckers living in my neighborhood. You know, so I can hang out with them :P

Going back to Cali

He's leaving Saturday! We needed a mini break, I get nothing done when he is home. When he is here he expects me to do all of these outlandish things like wash his clothes, cook, clean, and even do the deed with him! Who does he think I am? The maid? Totally kidding.....He will be gone for a month, a month is cake. If I can deal with a year, and soon deal with fifteen months, then yeah...a month is a weekend. I hate when I hear pansy ass wives complain about a week. Shut your pie hole, I don't wanna hear it. So, me, the kids, and my girls...we are gonna keep each other busy.

I don't know what to do about my bad ass shitty kid. He is two, he keeps taking his diaper or pull up off, last night was the kicker....he took a crap! And, proceeded to leave shit all over the house. It was not a good night, I wanted to ship him off. Oh wait! I can't...cause he's my kid. Dammit.

Anyhow, I think he's ready to go hard core with the potty training, so we are gonna go out buy some fruit snacks, a new potty (one he likes) and get this poop on. I mean he will get his poop on. I can't do poop, I really can't. Poop on my floor? Hell no.

Online Bidding

Everyone loves free stuff and now there is an online company called Bid4Prizes that allows you to bid on items anyone would love to own, and best of all they are free! All you have to do is have the lowest bid on the item. I would love to get my hands on the BMW3 Series, winning a car like that would change my life. Just think about it, no car payment and I would own a brand new car, the financial freedom I would have to win a prize like that. I don't even have to go online to bid, I can text my bid in. Bid4Prizes has a variety of prizes they give away everyday. So, the next time you are online check out their site and enter your unique bid for your chance to win.

It's like stuck or something.....

The feeling. I hate it. Have you ever had a feeling like you should be worried about something, not something life shattering, but something you should take care of? I had that feeling last night. Now I can't remember what it was, what I mean is I can't remember what I was worried about. Dammit.

Why are these little people following me?

I make many jokes about being a mom. I make light of how horrible they can be at times, it's how I keep my sanity. I am not a perfect mom. I yell more than I should, I forget lunch money, I have even forgotten to pick up my kid from tutoring! And.....I do sweat the small stuff. I do love them and this they know. I always say it, and they aren't afraid to say it either. Thanks little people for letting me be your mom. Even though I make mistakes, you guys still love me and treat me as if I hang the moon.

Speaking of moms, I went to get my mother a card a few days ago. They don't make cards for our type of relationship though. We had it rough when I was young. We still don't agree on many things, and memories are clouded. All of the cards I could find were sappy and ass kissyish, (it's my word, shut it) if I sent her a card like that, she'd call bullshit and it wouldn't mean anything. So, I think I am gonna go into the greeting card business, you know "real" cards, no bullshit. That's what I'll call them "No BS" they will be a hit.

My Mother's Day card would read:

Mom,

I know we didn't always get along, and we didn't have a great relationship. But, as we have both matured I am happy that our relationship has improved. Even if it took me living two states away to make that happen. I love you. Thanks for keeping me alive until I left the house.

Love your daughter....the smart ass.

She would laugh. She would like the part about keeping me alive. She would probably say....if anyone was going to kill me it would have been her. Yeah, we are both aware she is not June Cleaver and I was not the perfect kid. That's how we roll though.

Happy Suckas Day to all the moms out there......cheers to never being able to completely relax until we are dead. Because God knows I haven't been able to since they were born, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love those little people who follow me.

American Idol

I think Melinda Doolittle will win, even though she has one of the weirdest looking faces I have ever seen....her voice kicks ass. I do love me some Blake though, his little beatboxing makes me smile, and he is a cutie. I'm not sure why but this season I love American Idol, I really enjoy watching the damn show. I think it's because David is home, things aren't as fun when he isn't home, well except for shopping. I can shop forever without him, I prefer it.

We had a playdate today and it was pure chaos. You see between my three friends and I we have a total of twelve children, and most are under the age of three. Yes, we are certifiable. But, it was fun.

Attention: Dads at McDonald's, it is not cool when your sons are beating on other children....if they wanna beat on each other and you are cool with it then so be it. Ummmm...yeah thanks.

No Donut for you!

This weekend we ventured off to "The Donut Mill" we loaded up the crew, drove half an hour away, and to my dismay the sucker was closed! It had closed 38 minutes proir....David really wanted their biscuits and gravy, and I really wanted a glazed donut. Damn them. So there we were in Woodland Park, we cruised, we decided to have dinner there. Mexican. Yup, we ate Mexican food, I thought it was gonna be yucky......nope, it was really yummy. I also found out where I can get menudo!

Then it snowed. My day was almost ruined. I hate Colorado and the fucking snow.

Nah...I was in too good a mood to let the damn snow ruin it.

They had flan and deep fried ice cream. Guess who ate flan?

The road home, it was yucky. Next weekend we're getting a damn donut!

Fabulous......

Today is Cinco de Mayo and I am in Colorado. It sucks. I wish I was home in Arizona with my sisters and all of my family. It is one of those kind of days. If I were home now we'd be grilling carne asada at my Abuelita's and listening to some Vicente and Pepe, and my Abuelita would cry. Because that's what old Mexican people do when they hear Vicente, they just do. And then someone would have drama, because someone is up in someones business, but it's all good because that's what families do. They get in your business, talk shit, and give you advice that you don't really want. That's love. I would be really sad if nobody gave a shit, like those families who all "pretend" and tell you what you want to hear, yeah fuck that. I miss them, all of their annoying asses. And, I say that in the most loving way, seriously.

Ahem....onto Colorado news, Ashley's soccer team played an all boys Pride team, they tied. We went to a Cinco de Mayo celebration here on post today, they gave us sombreros, maracas, and food, and absolutely no literature about Cinco de Mayo. Yeah, ummm lame-o's. I give them three stars for effort. I am such an ass...but seriously it's nice to let people know what they are celebrating.

Crabby kid. Adios.

Anyone who knows me...knows that I move my house around alot. All the time. I love to do it. My hubby on the other hand absolutely hates this about me. I like to decorate and move my furniture around. Well, about two weeks ago I decided I no longer wanted the playroom downstairs, I wanted to move it upstairs. So, we did it. However......I didn't have a way to watch the hellions from downstairs. Problemo solved, my hubby is the best. He bought me this. I just need to order an additional camera and I can watch them in their bedroom too.

Ashley had her skate party and slumber party this weekend, I am totally pooped. Pre-teen girls are nuts. They are so dramatic, I now see that the drama starts way early. They ate tons of junk, stayed up way too late, and were calling boys at four in the morning! They all have cell phones! Ashley does have a phone and we thought it was a rarity....but nope ALL of these chicks have phones!

Feliz Cumpleanos Mamacita!

Happy Birthday Ashley!

I can't believe she is already eleven! Geez.....I was only five years older than her when I got knocked up with her. YES...I was already married. That's a whole other blog though, not even a blog a damn book. When I was pregnant with her I had no idea what I was doing. None. Nada. Zilch. I just knew I loved her and her daddy and I guess that was enough. We were so po', like really po'. We didn't know it then, I guess that's real happiness. When being poor isn't such a big deal cause you're happy.

She's such a good kid, other than the normal eleven year old "I know everything" attitude.

We are off to deliver cupcakes, go to soccer practice, attend an FRG meeting and blow out some birthday candles!!

Lover Baby

Yes, he is very talented. He can do many things. But, he cannot however stop shitting his pants.

I love this little guy.