Someone Fucking Shoot Me...Please.
I am the genius who thought it would be a good idea to have two children 10 months apart. Yes, me. I don't give a shit, I'm gonna bitch. I can't even go to the damn store with the youngest spawn, he reverts to "Psycho Fucking Toddler" every time we go out in public. It is not normal. Will he ever outgrow it? Or will I have to continue to use the drive-thru until he is in fucking high school?
I decide to go to Target with my possessed toddlers in tow, and need to go potty. I needed to go potty. Both of the spawn still shit their pants so yeah I am not lucky enough to have to take them to use the potty. I usually avoid the potty and wreak havoc on my kidneys until I pee my pants. But, I couldn't. So, Jerk of the World has to come into the stall with me, I tell him to sit, and give him the "mean look". I proceed to do my business he waits until I'm nice and comfy...and then he jets across the stall unlocks the door and starts running around the bathroom, meanwhile my fat ass is exposed to all of Target. Well, all of the Target population that had to use the potty yesterday. It wasn't pretty people.
I so could have used a taser yesterday.
5 comments:
Oh Stella, you need a hug. You know what girl, my oldest two are 2 years apart, and they still did shit like that when they were younger so don't come down on yourself too hard for yours being so close in age. Yes, they will grow out of it. Eventually. You'll gain a few grey hairs before it happens though. I'm just being honest. It's like they conspire against you sometimes. I remember those days. I remember dreading taking them any-freaking-where. I hated eating out because they just wouldn't sit still. I don't know if it was just because I was a single mom or what. But it will pass. Just breathe. And eat a lot of chocolate. :o)
HAHAHA is it wrong that I can't stop laughing at the thought of you doin' ur business with the door open and your crazy ass boys running around?! I really shouldn't jinx myself cuz I'm about to pop... but seriously it's SOOO funny! You'll look back and laugh about this in about 50 years :P
brats.
sell 'em.
I can totally see that happening too!! Isn't that why we always travel in packs, so that one of us can pee in peace, while the other wrangles the herd!! Sorry you gave a booty show to the Taget Restroom, but it is kinda funny.....
(whispers...10 mos. apart? are you nuts? i thought i was crazy for 17 mos. apart...glad to know i'm in good company though!!!)
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