Newsflash: David thinks that our remote is taking entirely too long to switch to the next channel. He states that I need to contact our cable company so they can "fix" this problem. Yes people he really said that. It takes 2 seconds!

Oh, and did I mention that I hate Jack Bauer? Ahhhh....yes I do.

Wanted: CAGE for Unruly Toddler

He's in a toddler bed now. This is what we find him doing when he SHOULD be sleeping.




In his toy bin. Nice.




Doing his own stunts.



Then he looks at me like this and I can't be mad. I just laugh with him.

Sick Again!

Yes, my ass is sick again. I hate being sick, and I wont go to the doctor. So, I will just sit here and wait it out I suppose. You'd think I wouldn't be sick as much as I have been disinfecting the house lately? Sheesh.




Clorox: I love you. I love all of your new products. I realize this new kitchen cleaning stuff has no bleach in it, I like it because I don't have to worry about fucking up my clothes, but bleach kills and I like that. I don't care, I still love this stuff. The blue one, I haven't tried the yellow stuff.

P.S. I swear I don't have stock in Clorox, I just love this stuff.

I have been having weird dreams about my family, in one dream I hated them. All of them, it was too weird. And, then another dream I kept trying to set my sister up with David's friends. Maybe I miss them? I don't know. I need to look it up, it's bothering me.

Today I need to make my way over to Gordman's, ok I don't NEED to. I WANT to. Nobody NEEDS to go to Gordman's.

Aren't we on the same team?

Wow, it amazes me how hard we are on each other, I'm talking about moms. We really are, we are awful sometimes. We criticize each others parenting skills, cooking, career choices, cleaning styles and so on. We suck. I can't say that I am innocent and that I haven't done any of the shit I just listed, but damn aren't we supposed to help each other out? I will never be completely innocent, but I can say I will have more empathy when it comes to mothers and their children after this year alone with my kids.

I love blogs, when they nap...I read lots of them and I it saddens me how moms don't understand each other. Who cares if you bottle feed or breastfeed? Or use cloth or disposable? Each mother needs to make decisions that are right for her because we all have very different circumstances.

I know how hard it is to raise kids, it is the toughest job I have EVER done. They make me the happiest I have ever been. But, I can also empathize with parents who have rough days, now I'm not talking abuse, I am talking about tired, crabby parents. I think it is important that our kids know that mommies and daddies have bad days too.

I'm not one to sugarcoat or put on a facade, it's hard work but it is so worth it. Sometimes I feel like I am going to go nuts, but I do my best. I promise from now on I am going to be a more understanding, adaptable and caring fellow mother. No judging.

Poor Kid

Anna Nicole Smith left her little girl in quite the mess. People are fighting over her mother's remains, and over this poor little girl. I don't know why but this Howard K. Stern guy gives me the creeps, he really gives me a nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something just isn't right about that guy. I mean look at him...he's just so smug. He does not look like good people.

I hope he isn't the kids daddy.

Fucking Army Times

It was supposed to be a good night. I went shopping, I bought my shoes and a necklace for the Brigade Ball. I get home, David is sitting in bed working on the laptop, I get ready for bed and join him. I see he has the new Army Times issue, for those who aren't familiar with the publication it's an Army-type newspaper that is published weekly. I see that he hasn't begun to read it, so I open it up and dig in. I love to read anything...remember? I'm going through it, and I come across a familiar name, and I read it out loud "SFC Allen M." and then I realize what I just read. It was his obituary, David hadn't even realized what it was yet. He grabbed the paper from me and just stared with a blank, lost stare. My husband it a tough man, very stoic at times. But, I saw pain in his face, I wanted to hug him, but I couldn't. I'm not sure why. Maybe because he doesn't like to talk about Iraq, I don't know.

You see David was in the Army before as an enlisted cav scout before receiving his commission. This was one of his buddies from his scout days, when we were at Fort Hood. He was killed in Baghdad under small arms enemy fire. He was only 42, and five years away from retirement.

It just brings this shit so much closer to home. He goes back in the fall and I am scared shitless. This war is wrong, our men and women are dying everyday. I provide my utmost support for the troops, although I disagree with the War in Iraq.

My thoughts and prayers go out to his family, although that just doesn't seem adequate.

No Kelly.... you cannot have a stripper at your baby shower!

So after reading Princess Prego's post this morning it reminded me! I have baby showers to plan Elainery & KellyBean! I am a party lover, so this is going to be fun! Although, my partner in crime Tracie-Boo is going to be gone! She is going to have to help me from afar, you hear that Trace?

So, I went on a hunt for a theme, I didn't want to go traditional baby crap like Noah's Ark or any of the other played out stuff. I wanted something funky and fresh. Something more contemporary. Here is what I found!

Ya think I should ask her what she likes? NAH!! I am having too much fun by myself. Besides she might try to do some shit like "Housewives of Orange County" theme or "The Hills". And, she'll want everyone to wear halter tops and stilettos. haha. I am so mean.


I ordered these...I didn't put a date though and they say Kelly.



These too.



These too. I think I am liking the blue better than the pink, but I figure we can do both.

And before I found the ones I really loved I had ordered these, but I don't care for them anymore. We'll just give these to her peeps in CALI. lol.

More to come, I need to pick a theme for Elainery. I think I will ask for Kelly's help with that.

Mancation not a Vacation

Yes, it was a Mancation, not a Man Date as I had so cleverly deemed it earlier. None of the geniuses bothered to check the road closures and they had to stay overnight in Denver and went boarding the following day.....well after a night of drinking.

Recap of David's Snowbaording Mancation: He got lost, they had to go and look for him. He thinks he "broke his knee" and had some pretty cool bruises on his face. Sweet. He has no choice but to go again, he bought a season pass. Yes, snowboarding kicked his ass. He was so cute though, he brought me back a strawberry cheesecake from The.Cheesecake.Factory. My Favorite!

Blog gone.....

Where did it go? My freaking blog is gone. This NEVER happens. Dammit John my blogger got the same disease yours did!! ARGHHHHH.

Man Date

So, David has a "Man Date" today, I will be all by my lonesome self....YAY! I think I'll shop. I have some baby shopping to do anyways, NOT FOR ME!! Every chick I know is getting herself knocked up these days, so yes lots of baby gift shopping (which is ALWAYS fun!). Now, back to my "Man Date" story, he is going snowboarding with some guys at work and he has never, EVER been! Everyone has been telling him for days that he every bone in his body will be painstakingly aching for days afterwards, I think so too.

Another thought that is oh so painful for me to think about is Obama and Clinton Part Deux, I am just so afraid that Hillary will win the Democratic nomination and then Shitty, Conservative America will decide they'd rather have a Republican than a woman. Just a thought. I like Obama too, I have to do more research....but he seems like good people.



**David is formerly known as LoverBoy in my blogs. I am going to refer to him from now on as David. His name.***

Crush? For reals? Ughhhh.

She has a crush. On a boy. She pretty much tells me everything, nothing is off limits in our house. Nothing. She has a question, she asks. When she does tell me something I am a bit freaked out about, I never let her see it. I am afraid she will be scared to come to me about things. So, I try to play it cool, or is it kewl? lol. She confided she had a crush today, and she is very aware of the rules. No boyfriends. She can have boys that are friends, but no boyfriends. High school is when she is allowed to have a boyfriend if that. Dad is already freaking out about the thought of that (me too). We both tell her she has plenty of time to worry about boys when she gets older, and wiser. Education is number one, I am just so afraid she will make the same mistakes I made. BLEH! I can't even imagine.

She is a really good kid, did I mention that? Total Type A personality just like her father. I told her she could have a crush on this boy and that it was perfectly normal. I also told her he was going to be the first of many crushes, but that she was much too young to think about having a boyfriend. I think this is the right thing? Am I being too rough? Geez...junior high is right around the corner!!

I am sick, so today already sucks big balls. I hope you like my card.

Because I am a flipping genius I decided to wait until last night to run out and buy the kids their Valentine's Day cards for their classmates. I went to Wal-Mart and they were out! Not one damn box! I took my procrastinating ass over to Walgreen's and I had two choices, Bob the Builder or Barbie, I was screwed. RiahBear my 2nd grader loves Barbie aka Hooker so I was set there. However my 5th grader is way too cool for Barbie, I knew she was gonna have a shit fit, so I grabbed two boxes of Barbie cards and hoped she wouldn't notice. Pshhhhh.....little did I know that boys cannot be given Barbie Valentine's! They need their own "Boy" ones, so, I had to dig up some old Dalmatian ones I had stashed from last year, but there was a flower next to the Dalmatian, the kid was killing me!! She ended up making her own.

So, off they went with their cupcakes in hand and oh so tacky Valentine's Day greetings. I am off to battle the evil Irish Twins I call my spawn. I am hoping they give me a break today because I'm not feeling the love.

P.S. I told Loverboy I got him a card, but I didn't! I think I'll make him one, that means more anyhow doesn't it?

Weirdo.

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He is so weird.

So angry....

Wow, I was a big crab yesterday. Clarification: Not all folks from CO are buttheads, I actually know some really nice ones. I was just having a shit day. boo.

Karma is a BITCH

As I was driving home yesterday a poor guy was having some mechanical issues with his car, it was DEAD! And he was actually trying to push it alone, UP A HILL (that car was going nowhere!) All alone, and not one motorist was stopping to help. People suck ass, people from Colorado suck ass. I guess I'll chalk it up to mean fucking people. As I was leaving I saw a soldier start to help him push the car, he's probably not from Colorado either because he had some fucking compassion.

Usually when Loverboy and I are together he will go and help, I had the kids this time so I didn't stop, I contemplated but nope my kiddos come first. I know there were plenty of people driving solo that could have stopped to help.


Since I've been in Colorado I haven't had the best experience with Colorado natives, I don't know they just aren't nice. Is it because I'm a beaner? Who knows. I don't care, I'll keep being nice to them. It's not in my nature to be an asshole. Karma is a bitch, and it will come back to you. I strongly believe in karma. I love doing nice things for people because I want to, that's just me, it's how I was raised. Maybe I am naive in believing that everyone should be that way. But, I think I've had a pretty good life by living this way. I am a bleeding heart and I'm ok with that, I've had friends tell me I'm too nice. I'm not too nice.


****I know all people from Colorado aren't jerks, but it's freezing out here right now. STOP the CAR and HELP if you CAN!! Arghhhh******

P.S. In Arizona you rarely see a stranded motorist without someone helping them, because people STOP, even if they don't want to, or are busy or in a hurry..THEY STOP!(There is no place like home).

Blogger is a BITCH

Ok, so today I did not get to have Coffee Talk, and I was not able to eat some Poop & Boogies. I am pissed. I also haven't been able to comment! Blogger, would you just quit being a bitch? Please.

I did get to visit TKW, so I'm good.

Babies & Toddlers

I delivered my baby gift, and saw a newborn baby boy yesterday. We attempted to sit and chat for a bit, but Loverbaby decided he wanted to have a meltdown in their living room. Yeah, just what new mom needed to see a tantrum, she is now wondering what the hell she got herself into. I tried to make her feel better by telling her that Loverbaby was so good as a baby and then I realized what I had just said. Dammit. We left. Now she probably thinks that all good babies turn into jerky toddlers. I'm going to call her and tell her nope, it's just mine.

Did I mention that Loverboy cut the boys hair on Sunday? Loverbaby looks like he did as a baby...he has that bald patch look going on, yeah I'm afraid to take him out in public. Loverkid not too bad, but he is going to have to wait a few weeks to get pictures done.

Babble, that's all I got today people. I'll be back later with something more blog worthy.

Snowbirds & Well Oiled Machines

This Colorado weather is killing me, and it's getting old. I need Arizona right now, I need 70 degrees, I need to be hot. I love finding blogs where the blog owner resides in Arizona. I stalk them, I pretend that I am there enjoying the beautiful Arizona weather at this time of year. The snowbirds have the right idea, they flock their asses to Arizona every year this time and wreak havoc in our beautiful state. I need to be a snowbird.

I am happy to announce that this household is well on it's way to running like a well oiled machine. Why? We set schedules, and made a chore list. We never had a chore list, mostly my fault. I just felt that since I was home, it was my job to do all of the work around here. It wasn't working. We started our schedules yesterday and I feel good. The girls have done their chores, and they love that they have schedules. So, from now on "Happy Posts".....haha who am I kidding? I still need to bitch once in a while...especially when I come across wenches at Target.



Please let him sleep like this.....today.

Open Letter to Bitch at Target

Fuck you. You are supposed to be nice and not be a complete jackass.

Some crabby bitch ruined my night....well almost, I was shopping my little heart away because we were shopping for a baby! A baby was born at Loverboy's work, so off we went to my other Love "Target". The snooty cash register chick felt like being an asshole tonight, yes my children are shitheads and turn a simple trip to Target into hell...but that's her fucking job! She's supposed to be nice and smile and pretend she's happy to check my shit out. She even crushed my beautiful gift bag, the gift bag is like the icing on the cake, you can't fuck with the gift bag. I had to ask her to please not crush my bag and place it in a separate bag. Then she tries to not even put my new stainless steel breadbox in a bag! That hooker.

Well, my camera is still missing and I am devestated, completely. But, ya know? I think I need a new one anyhow. A canon, I hear those are really good. Hint. Hint. Loverboy.

Shake it

I love this video. I laugh my ass off everytime I watch it.

School sucks ass

So, why do I wanna go back? Hmmmmm.....

Maybe just so I don't feel so damn stupid sometimes. I did this stupid, meaningless quiz the other day while I was roaming aimlessly on the web...and I couldn't remember who wrote "The Communist Manifesto", yes a meaningless piece of information, but nonetheless I didn't know! Arghhhh, I should have know that! So, yes I am returning to school, I can finish. I should be done now, but I have Lover boy taking care of me so I have been pretty blase about finishing.

I registered today! AHHHHHH!!! I'm going to start with some online stuff that I have to get out of the way and then move on to the hard junk. I want to finish mostly because my in-laws are assholes and they swore when I had Loverbaby I'd never finish, because there wasn't a reason to. So, I am on my way to finish. I know I don't have to prove shit to anyone. But, I'd like to prove it to me.

P.S. It was karl Marx who wrote it. You'd think I'd remember that being a Sociology major and all.

So, I think I'll be fine.

I was thinking about him getting deployed again, he's pretty sure it's going to happen. I am just kinda pissed, I mean come on give him a year, he wont even be home a year before he deploys again to that shit hole. This last deployment I vowed I would stay in Colorado for the duration of the deployment, didn't happen. My emotions got the best of me and I packed the kids up, our shit and stayed with my sister. We kept our house here in Colorado, but I just couldn't do it, it was rough. I was 3 months post-partum and feeling very hormonal and emo. I am thankful I have such strong family support, my sister stepped up and helped in every way imaginable, she is so strong. I think she needed to be because I was a wreck.

I have friends now, really good ones. Keepers. During the last deployment I had no friends, not one. I had acquaintances, not "real" friends. I think I will be fine. I think it's gonna kill me every time he misses a "moment" and I'll wish he was here to share it with me, I guess that's the worse part for me, that he has to miss anything.

MIA

My camera is still lost. I think it's gone for good, or shoved in a crevice somewhere in the house. I think Loverkid took it and hid it. Maybe he's tired of me taking pictures of him and posting them on my blog so we can get a laugh out of his Jerky Boy ass. I am actually quite bummed that it's missing.....

Being in the Army really stinks sometimes. My friends move, we all move alot. Some of them are moving and it sucks. I know, I know, it's Army life, but I am seriously thinking of telling Loverboy maybe Army life isn't for us? I am tired. I don't want him to leave again. I'm not sure how I managed to keep four kids alive and stay sane while he was gone last year. Ok, so yeah I'm not sane. But, the kids are still alive.....

Apparently I am related to a fucking princess....

So, my Aunt calls me this weekend, it starts off like this "Hi mija! How are you?" blah, blah, blah....And, then she proceeds to invite me to my cousins wedding. The cousin that told me I was going to hell a few years ago. So, let me tell you about her we'll call her "Tori". Tori decided to go to school at a private religious university because it was better for her, because at a regular university there would be temptation and boys might try to get in her panties and shit like that. So, now she's all "You're going to hell bitches!". well, back to my story.. So, my Aunt tells me the wedding is in Washington and she's getting married in a castle, and no kids allowed. Ummmmm hello? Why are you calling me? You know I have four children. She proceeds to tell me how much my cousin wants me there, and I say...."Oh, ok Loverboy and I will get a nanny for the kids and fly out to your little ingrates wedding". That is what I should have said. But, I held my tongue and said I'd talk to Loverboy, and I'd let her know. Pshhh...whatever, my ass is going to the Dollar Tree to get her gift, and calling to send my regrets.

Anywho, it's her wedding whatever. No kids, cool. I just grew up differently, a wedding was a family experience. The more people the better it was. She's different though, she didn't grow up around family. In our entire family there has never been a wedding with a no kid rule. I know it's normal in other families, just not ours.

So, I have decided not to go. I'm gonna save the trip on a cousin I like.

National Delurking Week

Yes, I am a blog stalker. I love to stalk. Loverboy would say I need to go to BA, Bloggers Annonymous, because yes I have issues. And, since it is "National Delurking Week" I have come out. I am no longer a lurker and leave comments!!

So, I know that I am rarely stalked. But, if you ever visit. Say HI! :)

Happy Birthday Miss RiahBear!

Eight years ago today I was all stinking wet! In a neon. Little Miss RiahBear couldn't wait to get her ass out of me, she busted out breaking my water. She was the only one who did it too, of all the other munchkins. It's hard to believe she is eight! Happy Birthday to my little bear, and I hope you have a great day!

I am off to deliver 27 cupcakes and juice boxes to a classroom full of 2ND graders this afternoon, wish me luck.

*Oh, and did I mention the scene of said birthday party for her is Chucky Cheese?! I will hold my tongue because it's her BURFDAY! But, I am so not cool with Chucky Cheese. See? Evidence I love my stinking kid!

My camera is lost. Shit. I now have to search my hard drive for some pictures so I can play SPF. I have recently become obsessed with SPF...Thanks to her! TKW

1. A Houseplant- No such things exist in my house (no real ones), so I posted a picture of my dried flower wreath! It's kind of a plant. Yeah, it's better if it comes into my casa dead because that is how it's gonna leave!



2.Something you secretly enjoy but bitch about anyway- Loverboy's Leather lazy boy, I hate it. It doesn't go, it's right in the middle of the room, I hate leather. However, every opportunity my fat ass gets I sit in it. I love the damn chair, I don't know where I'd sit if it weren't there. It's just so damn comfortable. I don't know what I would do if he actually said yes the next time I try to throw it out!




3. Something Disgusting- REX is disgusting. He's my sister's Bearded Dragon, wait! No, he belongs to my mother now. Anyhow, he is gross. He is ugly, and stinky, and all he does it eat and shit. Oh, and he carries salmonella. Well, I'm not sure if he does personally, but reptiles do! So, yeah Rex is gross.



Play SPF, it's fun! Come on Krissi I know you want to!! ;)

My fat ass isn't ready.

So, we now have our gym set up. And the fucking elliptical has sat there, and my fat ass still has yet to get up there and do it. I know, I know. I am going to, it's just so much easier to sit on my ass. Anywho...I am going to use that wretched, ass buster tomorrow if it kills me. Seriously, I am.

Today sucked ass, I had to take Loverboy to his follow-up PRK appointment, and I guess his vision is almost fucking perfect. I want PRK!! Well, I guess that is one of the Army's perks, they'll fix your eyesight for free so they can send your ass to Iraq to make sure you have a clear shot....nice of them. Asshats.

My camera is missing. I can't take pictures. I am so totally bummed. In case you don't read my blog regularly I love to take pictures of random shit. Anything. Yes, I am that lame....LAME-O. I don't care, I like pictures of shit. Now, don't go sending me pictures of shit, I meant that in the non-shittiest way!

My eyes are burning!

Not my eyes, Loverboy's eyes. He had the PRK procedure done today, where they take that nice little brush and scrape your cornea off. Yeah, fun, fun, fun! He has been a trooper though, and he's almost feeling decent. Thank goodness for that darn percoset!! We went over to the Air Force Academy today because that's where he had it done, and geez that place is beautiful! It was covered in snow because of the weather, it was really nice. If you ever happen to use the hospital at the Air Force Academy "DO NOT EAT IN THE CAFETERIA!!" Don't do it. Loverbaby wouldn't even eat it! And, that Turd Builder eats anything! Well, almost.

Just Cause He IS So Darn Cute!

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Loverbaby at 2 Months Old!

Baby Hugs

From the moment this kid was born he was perfect. He was so good when we brought him home from the hospital we thought something was wrong with him! Seriously, my pregnancy with this kid was easy, his birth was cake, and his first year was the best. He is our last baby, Loverboy was sweet enough to ensure that we have no more babies. Loverbaby was the last, sometimes it makes me a bit sad.....but then I come to my senses. Four children with a husband in the Army, I don't think so. WE have our plates full.

I have friends that are pregnant, I am elated for them. So, after my Loverbaby no longer looks like a baby and enters into Toddlerhood, it makes me feel better that I will have tiny babies to hold when I get the itch. Loverbaby is becoming more independent everyday, I'm still gonna force the hugs on him every chance I get.

Did I mention LoverBaby gives the best hugs? He really does.

He's So Yummy......

It's been forever since I have been to see a movie that didn't have animated crap in it, or wasn't put out by Disney. I am happy to report that my dry spell is over! I went to see Children of Men, and it was superb! I loved it. I loved Clive Owen in it, he was brilliant, he has always been brilliant. It was a very serious and disturbing flick. It was about a world without children, none. Women were infertile, and a baby hadn't been born in like 18 years, it was nuts. It was a movie about humanity, and a common goal. It was sad. But, it is a must see.

Ahhh.....Humanity. We are all people right? So, I must ask. A question was asked on a message board I belong to. Here it is:

"Should we care if people are starving in other countries or should we worry about the people in our own country first?"

I was a bit disturbed at the responses. People didn't care. I don't get it. People are people, and they are hungry. It was sad, and I was disappointed. I don't know, am I wrong for sensing some sort of responsibility?

Garbage man hates me

He came...I was so HAPPY! He took some of my trash, I just looked out the window and my "actual" trash can is still full! WTH?!! Probably because he hates me. I always have tons of trash. Most of the time it isn't really trash, it's stuff I am too lazy to either post on Freecycle or haul over to the thrift store. I am a maniac on "Trash Day" I go around the house going through closets and drawers looking for crap to get rid of. Funny too...I just made a friend and she's the same way, we're both a little nuts about Trash Day.

Oh, BTW- Why is President Bush Sr's hip replacement surgery newsworthy? Seriously, I have nothing against the guy...well if you count his offspring as things to hold against him I guess I do. Bleh...verbal diarrhea again. Anywho...who gives a shit about his surgery? It was on the 9:00 p.m. news last night, and it wasn't even FOX! It was a reputable news channel!

I am calling bullshit on Colorado, how can we go from a clear day like yesterday which was like 59 degrees to blizzard like conditions like today?! Arghhh....

Guess who's napping? Loverbaby and Loverkid!! YAY!

Sounded like "Hi" To Me

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See, I told you he was a genius!

I'm a lucky girl...

No more pissing and moaning outta me. I promise.

Breathing Room, I needed some.

They went back to school, the girls. WE needed it, not only myself but I think they were itching to go back to school. RiahBear thought that she was going back to school as a 3rd grader, I had to keep telling her over winter break she was still a 2nd grader. She was relieved, she said she wasn't ready for the 3rd grade, my crazy kid. AshleyBear was itching to back because Santa gave her some uber cool Pokemon cards that she is dying to go to the bus stop and trade. Trading Pokemon cards isn't allowed at school, so all the little weirdos meet early before the bus and trade. Did I mention I really, really, don't LIKE Pokemon cards?

LoveKid and Loverbaby sleep in the same room, Loverkid in his bed and Loverbaby in his crib. This morning I walked in there and guess what? They were both sleeping together. Loverkid climbed into the crib. It was so cute, moments like those are what I needed today. They remind me that what I do everyday isn't all that bad. I love watching them grow everday...even if they are little turds.

I am off to lunch with a friend today, because she is jetting of to Hawaii tomorrow! Arghhh.....I think I am going to sneak into her luggage!

Please get better

And, I am talking about 2007 and myself I guess. After the holidays I get a little "depressed"?!! Yeah, I feel like the world is caving in on me...I question my purpose in life, and all that jazz. Yes, I am a crazy bitch...just in case you were wondering. OK, not really. Blah... I will come out of this slump. The girls go back to school tomorrow, that will give me some breathing room. Well LoverKid decided he wants to rock out tonight, I am off to attempt to put his crabby little ass to bed.

Riding Dirty

Yes, my little mongrols were riding dirty in their Cadillac Escalade, Loverbaby liked it more than Loverkid. The little turd wouldn't even get on at first! Loverbaby loved it so much...he wouldn't get off! They are both too young to drive the darn thing, so AshleyBEar drove them around. Poor kid actually fell asleep in it.

Oops! Naughty Drawer left open!!

I came across this while blog stalking, and couldn't stop laughing....thought I'd share!!

He said apple

Since I live in shit hole "Freeze your ass off Colorado" we are home bound and eating lots of junk accompanied by "The Black Dahlia" with Josh Hottnet and Scarlett Johooker. The plot is slow and dragging ass, and the acting totally stinks. Just thought I'd share.... I intended on renting "Little Miss Sunshine" because my sister told me it was fabulous and that I just had to see it. But, that little machine in the shoppette is always out of it! I even go to the one by the barracks because I figured single soldiers do not want to watch that type of movie...I guess they do.

So, being the procrastinator I am, I decided to head over to the commissary this morning to do some last minute shopping, and it was absolute madness. The line wrapped around the store, people were acting like assholes, and Loverbaby decides to throw a shit fit while we were in line because he wants to open the cinnamon rolls that need to be baked. I'm telling you...I am raising a genius.

We ate lots of junk food today......all fried. We loved it. Chicken wings, mozzarella sticks, pizza, fries. And, I didn't even feel bad about it, you know why? Cause I hate the snow. It's my way of giving the snow the bird. I hate snow.


We are working on words with the Loverbaby and Loverkid. Loverkid said apple yesterday in Safeway while we were looking for wings. Loverboy was so proud of him that he just had to go and buy him a bag of apples. Now he thinks they are all his. Seriously, AshleyBear and RiahBear wanted one when we got home......and he gave them this "Touch them and die" look and pointed his nasty germ infested finger at them and said "no". Poor kid....he thinks he is so tough. Doesn't he know his sisters could kick his ass? Does he not know he's two?

Well, he's kinda bad ass.....he did say apple.

Not That Sad....

President Gerald Ford died yesterday. He lived his life to a ripe, old age of 93. He was a successful man, and was the president. So, it's not too sad. It's always sad to lose a loved one, but he lived his life (a good one too). Rest In Peace President Ford.

Cwabby Ass

I am so freaking crabby. I am pissed because it's already Wednesday! I am pissed because now I wish we would have gone home to visit for some of the holidays. When I say home I am referring to Arizona, Loverboy is in the Army so......wherever we are is really home. It was a tad sad this year, we had Christmas alone. Not really alone, just our little family. The last time we did that was about eight years ago!

Last night I suggested to Loverboy we go home for New Year's Eve. I don't think it's going to happen, Colorado is supposed to have another storm on Thursday morning that follows into Friday and we can't leave until Friday morning. BLAH! And, we would have to head back Tuesday, so yeah I don't think so.

I was hiding. They found me, ahhh they always do. So, I pretended they weren't there, I am talking about the "Turd Builders" that's what they are, my little darlings Loverkid and Loverbaby. I ignored them, they start crying so I figure Loverboy will come to my rescue and he does......

Loverboy: "Hey, what's going on up here?"

Me: "Well, I figured if you heard them you might get off your ass and come get them".

Loverboy: "Babe, you know I don't care when they cry".

(He uses the "Tone them out" technique)

**He then realizes they are destroying his GYM/Office....and removes them :) **

NICE.

**Note to self: Letting the Turd Builders break Loverboy's things will get him off his ass***

Does Santa Have Email?

So, Loverboy and I have been wrapping countless gifts for the little ingrates. And, yes they have made it HELL. Every five seconds...."What are you doing?"and "Can we come in?". There have been a few almost ruined surprises, but we're cool. We are almost finished! Loverboy wrapped some more gifts this morning, with his knife. He swears he has to use a knife for wrapping. Now he's gonna put up lights tonight, talk about waiting until the last minute huh?

So, I think AshleyBear knows that Santa isn't real, and I think she's afraid to tell us. Smart of her. We'll just keep pretending until she's in college or something. She got a postcard in the mail from the "North Pole" letting her know that Santa got her letter. She knows, she has to. You know how I know? RiahBear never got her postcard letting her know Santa got her letter.....so she's pretty worried. She came into the room today and you know what she told us?

RiahBear: "Mom, can you email Santa for me? He didn't get my letter, A said I could email him and he would get it".

**AshleyBear knows Santa does not have email**

Loverboy and I will have been married for twelve years on December 30th!!

(The day we got married Loverboy 18, Me 16)

We are so fucking bad ass....look at that white suit. Don Johnson ain't got nothing on my baby.

(JROTC ball in high school Loverboy 17, Me, 15)

Another picture of us hot bitches....My hair? WTF was I thinking??!!

So, now that you've seen our hotness, and our keen sense of fashion...please refrain from running out and copying my updo, only few can pull that shit off. Damn...we were some stylish mofos.

The Destroyers

He was vaccuming, cleaning, dusting.....He was setting up his "gym/office". Loverboy has decided to finally set up his gym, he actually got his machine set up last night, I'm not sure what it is called. He is now on a search for an elliptical machine, a decent one, and nothing too pricey. Ughhh...now I will have no excuse to work out. But, the computer is in the same room now...so I can maybe do a "surf n' work" routine.

The Loverboys decided to help daddy with his gym, until he gave their little asses the boot. They are quite the destructive bunch. They cried, he bitched....they really loved tearing down the pieces he was putting up.

Alas...the final product. His stupid machine.

Abuelos

My Abuelito, My Sisters, My Kids & I

We took my abuelito to dinner the last time he came to see us in Arizona, good times.

Grandparents. I always get irritated because my RiahBear wants to spend so much time with her grandmother. I get a bit hurt actually. I realize now how important the realtionships we have with our grandparents are (those of us whom are lucky enough to get to know them). Not all of us have the opportunity to get to know them. I am lucky. I knew (know) all of my grandparents. Well, kinda. My dad's father isn't really his father...he knows that though, his father is in Mexico and I have never met him. But, I am cool with the man I know as my grandfather on my dad's side.....he is a nice man.

My maternal grandparents are very good, hard-working people. They are divorced now. And, my grandfather has returned to Texas, in his eyes Texas is home...translation = Mexico.

Everyone wishes he would have stayed in Arizona, that is where his children live. But, it is also where my grandmother lives, so he left. He lives his life in Texas with my Tia Rosita his older sister. I miss him, I miss my grandmother too. She loves to make the kids clothes, I love that she loves doing that for them. Linda is sending me a shawl she made for AshleyBear.

So, I am uber bummed that I wont see them this Christmas, it's ok though because I have Loverboy home. Who could ask for more?

Poinsettas are pretty. But, I kill everything, and you can't even tell the difference between a real one and a fake one. Actually, I have a real one too and it's still alive...weird.

So, real or fake? I can't tell.

Did you know that McDonald's closes their playland at 9:00? Yeah, we found out the hard way. We wanted a late night snack on Saturday night, so we ventured of to Mickey D's...their damn playland was closed! Loverkid threw a shitfit...because we not only unloaded him once took him in and then loaded him back up into the van....but TWICE! Yeah, he pretty much hated us. And, I hated McDonald's that night.

Blogger is acting like an idiot again. I wanted to post more pics. Sorry.

This weeks Thursday Thirteen is dedicated to my familia.

1. I miss my sisters so much it hurts sometimes.

2. Loverkid just has to smile and I feel better.

3. Loverbaby looks like a dinosaur (Thanks Krissi!) :P

4. I am turning into my mother. I'm only trying to keep her good qualities.

5. AshleyBear is so much like her father and I....yet we are both so different.

6. M&M has the CRAZIEST imagination. Pure Genius.

7. I want to have the kind of love for my children my grandmother had for her children.

8. Yard Sales with my mom and sisters is a childhood memory, a good one.

9. Egging cars is illegal...even if you are with your mom when you do it.

10. My Tia J....she is a nut but I love her. Sometimes, I think I am her daughter.

11. I need more patience.

12. I wish I was better in math so I could help AshleyBear more.

13. I got lucky when I married him. Loverboy rocks my socks.

Emo Kid...Me?

I am an EMO kid. I seriously have been a super emotional wreck and today is one of those days. I was driving to meet one of my BFF and on the way to our McDonald's play date lunch I hear a Spanish song and I think of my grandmother and I start bawling. Then I think of my mom...whom I hold a hidden grudge against. And, I make a command decision to write her a letter....we just don't talk about issues and agree to disagree, it's just how we get along. I know she did her best, and no parent is perfect......And, I was a pretty big jerk as a teenager. I don't think I have ever told her that, so this Christmas I think I will. This year has been tough on me....she raised my sisters and I alone for the most part. I almost died doing it for a year!! So, I guess hindsight is 20/20, I am older and wiser. I can accept the fact that I have been an asshat.

Now, I am really going to start wrapping gifts. Really.

Wait! I forgot! I found this huge Christmas Pooh to put in the front yard on Craigslist for $10...I am going to pick it up today! I am so excited! Loverboy wasn't too thrilled...he thinks Pooh is gay. Pshhhh....the kids are gonna love it.

Garbage Pail Kids

Yes, these are my very own Garbage Pail Kids. They are gross little people. They not only shit themselves daily, and spew random messes from their mouths and walk around like cavemen, they have now reached a new level. Lucky Me.

They decided it was a good idea to get into the trash today. Well, not both of them. Devon just watched Carson like a responsible big brother. Arghhhhh......I can't even poop without these little monsters doing something bad!

Anywho....today I have my Coffee, and I have no gift for my gift exchange. Maybe, I give one of my kids away? Hmmmmm......That's a thought.

So, off to Target I go. I heart Target. I really do.

Anyone?

Know how to link a picture to a site? Help.

Christmas Funk

I still haven't mailed my cards, taken a christmas picture or sent out gifts. I suck. I really do. What is happening to me? I have been in a Christmas Shit Funk. Can it please end? Because I usually love Christmas.



Our gate is broken at the top of the stairs...which means I have to haul ass everytime Carson is upstairs because he thinks he is grown and can get down on his own, and up on his own. NOT.

This is my little genius right before he bites the big one. He really didn't bite it, dad caught him.

Another item I must purchase.....a damn gate. I LOVE shopping, just not for a gate I wont need in 6 months.

So, here I am blogging instead of writing out Christmas cards. Call me Scrooge that is what I feel like this year.

I wanna bitch about something, but I wont. I think I am a pretty good person, and don't get all nuts over petty shit. I really don't. Bleh....verbal diarrhea. I wont do it. But, I am pissed.

**Edited** I am no longer pissed. I feel better now. Merry Christmas!!

I Like To Party!

Ok, so it's been a while since I partied. We had a long week. My house is trashed, and needs major work. But, I had fun!! We had a Gift Exchange at a friends party....and David got a "Ex-Wife" pic...that was funny, you had to be there. I double booked us that night...so we left the party early. BOO! Then we headed over to another shindig, and David did some karaoke...not pretty. But, I was glad he had a good time, he needed it.

I need to find Buzz Lightyear...Toys R' Us here I come.

1. I love Jon Bon Jovi, and will meet him one day.

2. I love to bite my husbands toenails...I beg him to let me.

3. I love the smell of wet dirt, it reminds me of home.

4. I am too nice.

5. I love Laguna Beach...not the show, the actual beach.

6. I love it when Carson giggles...it makes my day.

7. I thought I was a good judge of character.

8. I don't like orange juice.

9. Laundry is my enemy.

10. I don't like Men In Trees, the show.

11. Grey's Anatomy is LOVE.

12. Hugh Grant is hot.

13. I need to get to bed earlier.

Chef Stella Hates Colorado!

Colorado is way too cold for me. I now officially hate it here. But, I do love Hot Chocolate and well Colorado and Hot Cocoa go together well....the snow really looks beautiful on the mountains behind our house. I like it better in postcards though.

Anyhow, I love to cook....I should have been a chef, really. I adore The Food Network, and Rachel Ray, I seriously could sit there for hours. Hmmmm........new career path? I could be a Social Worker who cooks gourmet meals for her clients!! YES!! But, seriously....Rachel Ray makes it look too easy. If that were me it would be called 2 hour meals...juggling the munchkins and homework, the dogs and one of the many catastrophes that goes on in our home daily....Nope. 2 Hour meals. I am gonna call The Food Network and pitch them my new gig....."Real Moms and Making Dinner for The Monsters".

Ok, so David is home and we are getting to know each other again, you don't realize how hard it is to live with someone after they have been gone for a year. Things are good, tomorrow is "Date Night" and I am so excited! I can't wait. Well, once things are settled I will write more.

Selfish Wench...

I waited months......a year to be exact. I got no ceremony like I wanted. I even have to sharehim with all of his dang family. I know, shit happens....I am trying to be understanding, and a "good wife". But, geez this sucks. I just needed to vent and say this really sucks. Ok, I am done. Pity party over. lol.

Blogger Funk

He's Home. **Sigh, Huge Sigh of Relief**

I will not be blogging so much right now, I am being a bum (with him). I am happy.

I will post pics soon!!