Someone Fucking Shoot Me...Please.

I am the genius who thought it would be a good idea to have two children 10 months apart. Yes, me. I don't give a shit, I'm gonna bitch. I can't even go to the damn store with the youngest spawn, he reverts to "Psycho Fucking Toddler" every time we go out in public. It is not normal. Will he ever outgrow it? Or will I have to continue to use the drive-thru until he is in fucking high school?

I decide to go to Target with my possessed toddlers in tow, and need to go potty. I needed to go potty. Both of the spawn still shit their pants so yeah I am not lucky enough to have to take them to use the potty. I usually avoid the potty and wreak havoc on my kidneys until I pee my pants. But, I couldn't. So, Jerk of the World has to come into the stall with me, I tell him to sit, and give him the "mean look". I proceed to do my business he waits until I'm nice and comfy...and then he jets across the stall unlocks the door and starts running around the bathroom, meanwhile my fat ass is exposed to all of Target. Well, all of the Target population that had to use the potty yesterday. It wasn't pretty people.

I so could have used a taser yesterday.

The Assignment? TWO Things! I give you..............................



My TWO bad ass BOYS!!!! Don't they just look BAD??

Me no like Chili's

So, I have come to the conclusion that everything I order at Chili's tastes like shit. I have ordered something different everytime I go there and it all tastes awful. Maybe it's me? Bleh.

Ok, will write more later...my spawn are having a ridiculous conversation about looking at each other.

I need a new one....

I just finished "Little Children" by Tom Perrotta, and it was awesome. I love books and reading so much I could spend hours in the bookstore! But, mostly I just browse I like to buy my books on half. But, this book I actually did buy in the store, I started reading it and I couldn't put it down. Tom Perrotta is brilliant in this book, it took me away from my mommy duties for a little bit and I was so into the book sometimes I thought I was Sarah.

The book is about two adults who behave somewhat like "little children" and get away from their "painfully ordinary lives" it was a good read. It allowed me to get away from the mundane mommy duties I so love. I don't care what anyone says I will call bullshit on any mommy who says that she doesn't need an escape every once in a while. Books are a great way.

Now, I need something else...anyone read any good books lately?

I think he's good people....

I like what I've read about Senator Obama, I like what he stands for and most of all I like his smile. He seems genuine. Smiles say so much about people.

I'm gonna keep on reading about this guy and see what I can dig up.

Newsflash: David thinks that our remote is taking entirely too long to switch to the next channel. He states that I need to contact our cable company so they can "fix" this problem. Yes people he really said that. It takes 2 seconds!

Oh, and did I mention that I hate Jack Bauer? Ahhhh....yes I do.

Wanted: CAGE for Unruly Toddler

He's in a toddler bed now. This is what we find him doing when he SHOULD be sleeping.




In his toy bin. Nice.




Doing his own stunts.



Then he looks at me like this and I can't be mad. I just laugh with him.

Sick Again!

Yes, my ass is sick again. I hate being sick, and I wont go to the doctor. So, I will just sit here and wait it out I suppose. You'd think I wouldn't be sick as much as I have been disinfecting the house lately? Sheesh.




Clorox: I love you. I love all of your new products. I realize this new kitchen cleaning stuff has no bleach in it, I like it because I don't have to worry about fucking up my clothes, but bleach kills and I like that. I don't care, I still love this stuff. The blue one, I haven't tried the yellow stuff.

P.S. I swear I don't have stock in Clorox, I just love this stuff.

I have been having weird dreams about my family, in one dream I hated them. All of them, it was too weird. And, then another dream I kept trying to set my sister up with David's friends. Maybe I miss them? I don't know. I need to look it up, it's bothering me.

Today I need to make my way over to Gordman's, ok I don't NEED to. I WANT to. Nobody NEEDS to go to Gordman's.