Things I don't understand...

I don't understand how men can leave their children. Emotionally, financially, at all. How do they do that?

I don't understand how a woman could love and support a man that refuses to support his own children. I don't get it. I also don't understand how a man can go on to raise "some" of his children. What is he teaching his children? That you can pick and choose the offspring you love? What kind of men in turn do they raise?

This post is not about my children. I was blessed with a wonderful father for my children, a man that would do anything for them, for us. If my husband had any other children besides our children, I would make damn sure he was a part of their lives in every way. It wouldn't be an issue though, I know what kind of a man he is. I would be ashamed to be married to a man that wasn't a part of his children's lives.

I was not so blessed, I am over it. I thank God that my father didn't have any sons.

But, it breaks my heart to see other kids experience it.

I know women do it too, leave I mean. But, not nearly as often as men.

Merry Christmas from Sunny AZ!!

I said I wasn't going home. I lied. We are in Sunny AZ for Christmas! And, I LOVE it. Christmas should be tolerable, and you should not be freezing your ass off.

I can't wait until we leave Colorado.

Cause I needed the laugh....

Can't sleep & cause I know you are dying to KNOW!

Christmas Cheer and all that good mushy love stuff.......

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Total bag girl, I was not blessed with the good wrapping skills. I have NONE. Even when I try really hard, it looks like my kid wrapped it.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial..It's just so much easier, not as heavy. PLUS...I have no man around this year to help with a big ol' tree.

3. When do you put up the tree? Whenever I feel in the spirit, usually when they start playing Christmas movies on TV.

4. When do you take the tree down? New Years or After.


5. Do you like egg nog? BLEH! No. Hells no.


6. Favorite gift received as a child? A doll, I only remember because I have a picture of it. I do remember loving that doll though.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, but sadly it isn't up yet...I am not sure why?

8. Hardest person to buy for? My in-laws.

9. Easiest person to buy for? David, he is always grateful.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Probably some canned tuna from Jenny the Cat. Yes, my sister's cat gives out gifts.

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Mail, and I am so bad about getting them out.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It's A Wonderful Life and Scrooged. I love both of those!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I am always shopping, I love a good deal! But, I did do Black Friday this year! It was awesome!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Ummmmm YES!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Ham!! or Tamales...I love me some Tamales.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear white lights, I am not crazy about the color.

17. Favorite Christmas song? I know I blogged about this: Joy to the World.


18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Depends. The last three years have been at home.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? NO. Santa has other reindeer besides Rudolph?


20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Nothing at the moment. I suck this year. Deployments really put a damper on the Christmas Spirit.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We do both. One on Christmas eve, the rest in the morning. Growing up....we did them all on Christmas Eve.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Iraq and deployments.


23. What I love most about Christmas? All the pretty lights....

Wake me up this time next year.....

I wish that was how I felt...Today was total crap, how much could possibly go wrong? I hate these kind of days.

1. BOTH girls missed the bus, had to take them to school.

2. Devon decides to BARF during dinner and later in the evening too, I guess that was a bonus, and now I think he has a bug of some sort. Ughhh.

3. I felt like a haggard ass hooker....ALL day long.

4. David finally webcammed and we couldn't hear him. He is still in Kuwait dammit! The connection should be decent. He looked tired and sad. Devon kept saying "Daddy in Imack" it was sad, he misses him so much. He totally lit up when he saw him.

5. Went grocery shopping and had to pry every single non-perishable out of Carson's nasty little paws....apparently he wanted to eat everything (in the store).

6. It's 11:30 and both of my Children of the Corn are still awake, like crackhead awake.

7. Today is just one of those days I hope we survive. I know we will, but I'm kinda drama like that. So humor me, K?

Tomorrow starts day number 14 of 455, whiphee fucking hoo.

Newport Wench

This summer we vacationed in Arizona and California. In California we went to San Diego and Irvine. I have family in both locations. We had a blast, and I can't wait to go back. However, I came across a woman that I just wanted to cut, yes like gangster cut. I wanted to shank the bitch. Really. So, here goes my story....

We were getting gas and a suburbanite from Newport was gassing up next to us, in her cute little SUV Lexus, with her perfect hair and perfect clothes. So, someone next to her pulls up with plates from Alaska and she says to the lady "Wow, you are far from home!" the woman tells her, "Oh, we live here, we are from Alaska" the suburbanite says "The cops don't get you for having Alaska plates?" the very patient lady replies back "My husband is in the military, we don't have to get them changed, we are stationed here". And, you know what the Newport suburbanite wench says? "Ahh, special treatment for the military? That's not fair!" I thought to myself, oh my goodness that woman is gonna get her ass beat, seriously. I was scared for her for like a split second. The military wife just looked at her as if she knew already knew how clueless this woman was, and left.

I was waiting for the wench to go on about the all expense vacations the military gives to their soldiers too. You know those 15 months they get to spend in shit hole Iraq, cause they get special treatment and all.

Some kids suck.....

My baby girl Mariah, she's autistic, high functioning, but autistic. She has her quirks, she is a teeny odd, but we all are. She just started the third grade and the girls in her class are awful, I hate it. I don't know what to do. They are the meanest bunch of little girls I have ever met, not accepting at all. I'm not sure what I am trying to say, I just needed to write it out.

I wish kids were nicer.

Weather Issues

Dear Big Man aka God:

Please let this be a nice winter. Please. I can't bear to stay in my home all winter because of stupid blizzards. Seriously, Please? I will go absolutely nuts if I am stuck in a house all day with my kids. Thanks.

It's a sappy one....

Anyone who knows me pretty well, knows that my sister rocks. She ALWAYS thinks about the kids, she always thinks about us. Carson got this in the mail from her today. I almost cried.

My sister was a second grade teacher for three years, got her masters, decided she wanted to be a Librarian, so she went back to school. The scholarship she was awarded is at a school two hours from her home. So, she has a mortgage and utilities, along with a whole other apartment she is taking care of elsewhere. She is so strapped right now, and she still sent the Lover Carson some cash for his birthday. Not to mention she is so super busy right now. She remembered him. I love her. Things like this are what reminds me not to sweat the small stuff.

So, things are pretty good over here. Nothing can get me down, I wont let it. I only have little bit of time left with my hubby and I wont let anything mess up that time. I will have a whole fifteen months to be miserable.

They are both two for the next three weeks!

Numero Dos, TWO! He's two!

He's so darn big!

I don't need no stinking spoon.....

Yes you do, you need one, you little caveman. Why does he refuse to use a spoon? Seriously kid, it's not that hard. He wont even TRY! He just sticks his fat little hand into everything. And then he thinks he's gonna touch me? Or my stuff? Uh-uh I don't think so dude. Use a spoon and you wont have to get hosed off every time you eat!!! I mean it was a Sundae in this one, and still he didn't use it. Sometimes we get super lucky and he throws the fucking spoon at us. I love my kids.

I'm not ready yet....

It's getting closer, it feels like my world is closing in on me. When I think about it I feel like I can't breathe. I'm not ready for him to leave again. I'm not ready to sleep alone, to put the kids to bed alone, to eat dinner alone, I'm not ready to live alone. I'm just not.

The last time he left I was three months post-par tum, I had a three month old, a 13 month old, a 6 year old, and a 9 year old. We dropped him off, we said our goodbyes, we cried like we had never cried before. You don't realize how much you love someone until you send them off to a war zone. A month later I packed our stuff up and moved home with my sister, we still kept our place here, but I moved us temporarily for eight months of the deployment. It helped to go home, but nobody understood, it was surreal to them. I plan on staying this time, we'll see how I feel a month after he leaves again. I want to be tough and strong, but I'm just not that tough.

I look back on when he was deployed, and how I worried everyday. I waited for the phone to ring, I waited for my messenger to nudge, I waited for emails, and ultimately I waited for him. We waited for him. This fucking sucks, there isn't a nice way to put it. That's how I feel right now.

OK, my bitch session is over. Sorry for such a glum post. It keeps me from taking it out on him, and that's the last thing I want to do. I know it isn't his fault. I know he doesn't want to leave us. But, I still get angry. We should all be angry.

Taco Salads..yummy

We made taco salads for lunch this weekend, minus the tomatoes...yuck! I made the shells! And homemade salsa! Now, I have to get the chips down ;) Anyone know how to make the chips? I hate store bought ones.

Fool me once....

George

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Completely sober. Geez.

Time needs to move faster.....

Playing In The Sprinkler

He is sooo NOT coming in the house until he dries!

Too Soon.

Vacation is over and we are going home. I am going to miss Arizona...even if it feels like I am melting every time I go outside, I will miss it. I will miss my sister even more though. Boo on goodbyes, I hate them.

On another note I am so proud of the boys, they were so good and patient while on vacation, they adjusted to all of the changes like troopers. Ashley and Mariah are excited about school, it's a new year. We are all excited.

We partied it up on vacation and spent way more than we should have, but we went out with a bang. David is deploying much sooner than expected, so it was worth it. Who knows when we can go on a vacation again as a family?

Camping is cool.....NOT. (Like Borat)

I really like this picture, I think I am going to have it framed and put it in Devon's room. Because he is that jerk. Really. My son needs to learn to play nice. Fucking boys. Ughhhh.

Camping is so not cool when your uninvited Aunt comes to visit. I hate that bitch. I hate her. I don't even need her anymore, I am having no more babies. Ughhh. I demanded our campgound have bathrooms and showers and it will fly...so we shall see how it goes.

On another note Kimbo advised me that if I had my uterus removed that would be some weight loss. Isn't it sad that I would rather have body parts removed than put the Krispy Kreme down? Bleh.

I need my kids to go back to school. Now. And, I was going to be a teacher? NOT.

Poop...I mean I feel like poop.

I can't sleep. It has been weeks people. I have not had a good nights worth of shut eye, so if I am commenting your blog at 3am, please shoot me an email and tell me to go the fuck to sleep. Puhlease? Thanks =)

I think I should start taking some Tylenol PM or something. I just can't hang anymore.

So, the man comes home on Friday, I can't wait. He called me a bit ago and they have totally and completely have run out of things to do, he is just now waiting to get on his flight Thursday night. At the rate things are going over there, realistically he probably wont be here until Saturday. Boo.

I have decided I can't live without a Dyson, I HAVE to have one, I NEED it. I'm gonna try to talk the man into one...maybe I will advance my birthday and Christmas?

P.S. I tried Chocolate M&M Cookie Sandwiches today, AWESOME.

Blog Tagged

Suavecito Blog Tagged me!


One Word Answers:


Yourself: Amazing
Your Partner: Hottie
Your Hair: BLAH
Your Mother: Looney
Your Father: Absent
Your Favorite Item: Laptop
Your Dream Last Night: Unknown
Your Favorite Drink: Coke
Your Dream Car: Lexus SUV
Your Dream Home: City
The Room You Are In: Bedroom
Your Fear: Loss
You Want To Be In 10 Years: AZ
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: Kids :)
Your Not: Sad
One Of Your Wishlist Items: Dyson
The Last Thing You Did: Talked
You Are Wearing: PJ's
Your Favorite Weather: Fall
Your Favorite Book: MANY!
Last Thing You Ate: Sandwich
Your life: Awesome
Your Mood: Ecstatic
Your Best Friend: Loverboy ;)
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Wednesday!
Your Car: Silver
What Are You Doing At The Moment: Typing
Relationship Status: Married
What Is On Your TV: Movie
What Is The Weather Like: Cold
When Is The Last Time You Laughed: morning

Okay Now I get to Tag 2 people:
Sarcastic Momma, Jenn